ASK THE "DON'T DIET" DOCTOR

Dear Dr. Dorie:
I learned many 'diet rules' as a child and am now struggling to live free of this diet mentality.  Do you have suggestions to help me?
- No More Diet Rules 

Dear No More Diet Rules:
You are right, the messages that we receive as children can have great impact on us.  Many people tell me stories about growing up in a weight-conscious household.  One woman told me that when she was 8 years old, while eating ice cream or candy, her grandmother would say, 'A moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips.'   These messages only lead to feelings of shame and guilt associated with eating.

Then, there are the 'diet rules' that govern what we should and shouldn't eat.  For years, I followed a 'diet rule' of never having beverages with calories in them, so I could save my calories for other foods.  These 'rules' may assist with weight control, but they can also backfire, leading to overly restrictive eating patterns and deprivation-induced binge eating episodes.

Moving away from these old 'diet mentality messages' and 'diet rules' can be challenging, but it is possible to live free of their restrictions.  You can begin by making a list of all the messages and rules that you have followed.  Identify whether you learned these from family members, diet books and other weight loss media.  It can help to see where you learned your 'diet mentality.'

Next, spend some time rewriting the old rules.  For example, I challenged my 'only drink no-calorie beverages' rule by reminding myself that there were many beverages with calories that were nutritious and that I enjoyed, such as fruit juice, milk and hot chocolate.  To challenge grandma's ''moment on the lips' rule, it helps to remember that it's OK to enjoy foods that taste good, and that nutrients will NOT be directly transported to and stored in the hips for an eternity!

When those old rules come up, remind yourself of the new versions that you have created.  It can also help to spend time with people who are not bound by all the rules -- those who have overcome them or who never had to struggle with them.  People who have a truly healthy relationship with food, free of diet mentality thoughts, can be excellent role models.

Your awareness of the old 'diet rules' is your first step towards releasing their control over you.  Continue to challenge these old, unhelpful messages and replace them with new, realistic ones.

© 2006 Dr. Dorie McCubbrey, all rights reserved.  As one of America's leading experts on obesity and eating disorders, Dr. Dorie is the author of How Much Does Your Soul Weigh? (HarperCollins, 2003).  Visit www.DrDorie.com for more diet-free solutions to your food, weight and body worries.

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